DoorDash driver: ‘I’m in the door’ Me: ‘You mean you’re at the door?’ DoorDash driver: ‘I know what I said.’

Now shit it out in its assembled form.

You have some gall posting this on a sunday evening

Trumpet.

Jokes on you I have a Dutch toilet with a turd pedestal

DELET

Currently shitting my whole ass cause I had 12 things of beer yesterday

I told my coworkers to just toss me in the baler should anything happen to me.

Thighderman vs The Green Gyatblin

Time to roll a big boulder in front of my cave and hunker down till may.

Tapeworm eh? Easy way to get rid of those just eat eggs n bacon everyday for breakfast for a month straight. Final day of the month just eat eggs.

When the little bastard sticks his head out to complain about the lack of bacon you grab him and yank him out.

I see the future. I see… platoons of worms marching out of this guys asshole.

Based milkmaxxer

This is the way. I just buy what I need every day. Barely ever waste something

Bertfingers

Holy shit it’s real

Throwback to when Nintendo confirmed that Waluigi is uncircumcised for some reason.

Widdly scuds?

I honestly don’t know. I found my job through an employment agency, I worked there a few months and they offered me a permanent contract. I said yes and that was nine years ago.

As a EUrangutan I had to google what a cover letter means and now I am depressed.