you can’t build a successful relationship without dating and getting to know if you’re a good fit.

that isn’t change, that’s failure to take responsibility for yourself. which makes for a shitty person, and a shitty partner.

hence why most radicalized people are shitty human beings. de-radicalizing requires people to realize they are responsible for their choices, and that the world is not some external force oppressing them.

yeah you are. it’s really easy to understand.

the pool was clear before people got married. it clears up again after the first wave of divorces. clear meaning ‘there are desirable people to date’

are you ESL?

IME it’s that the more bad experiences they have, the more they demand an idealized greek god of a person as a partner and think anyone who doesn’t measure up to that fantasy. because it’s not their fault, it’s their partners for not ‘measuring up’ to their ‘standards’.

what i don’t get is why people married people they knew were awful people, or awful for them.

anytime someone lies, cheats, or steals from me (or shows any disrespect, like verbal/physical abuse) i dump their ass.

bingo.

gist of most people who are terminally single is they aren’t capable of offering as much as they demand. so for anyone that is a bad deal. a lot of people simple become parasites in a relationship, financially, emotionally, etc. and those parasitic people will never ever admit fault, they will blame the partner they are sucking the life out of that they aren’t ‘giving them enough’.

I was in a few relationships that became soul-sucking. i used to be depressed and suicidal in the past… because I as in relationships that were sucking my soul out. When I broke up, stayed single, and worked on myself… my life had value again and i was no longer depressed and suicidal.

the issue isn’t about experience. it’s about how you treat other people and if you see your partner as a person… rather than a resource to extract things from (money, sex, attention, etc)

As a 35+ would you rather be with someone who’s had bad experiences in relationships, or no experience in relationships?

Where I live the people in the towns with 5 million dollar home think those of us in the 1 million dollar homes are a criminal element that will invade their town.

It’s a national problem, but policies that affect housing are mostly local. So you need to override local control with state/federal policy, or convince a 50,000 municipalities to change their laws.

And the few states that have passed reforms for zoning, etc. are getting sued to shit in court by the city/towns.

This problem was 50 years in the making, it would take more than 50 years to fix.

the working class is the middle class.

unless you mean people who are in poverty.

i have a lot to be bitter about to compared to my peers. and i chose to take that and do something positive with it and contribute to the world.

and yet they are the ones whining about life isn’t fair and mean to them. ironically these nitwits are also against ‘government handouts’… except when the handout is to THEM. then they are all for it.

I mean, I don’t disagree with you, but we both know people will reject that as government overreach and call it socialism. Esp in the USA culture, people are in love with their own ignorance above all else and will justify to you how their 10 year car loan is ‘worth it’ despite the objectively poor choice that it is.

My favorite irony is telling people I use savings and 401K matching and them telling me that I am ‘wasting money’ saving/investing because ‘you’ll just die of cancer in the future before you can spend it’. It’s just… pure bitterness and a willful lack of self-respect.

So what should I assume? that’ i’m going to get cancer in 5 years and therefore spend everything i have now so i can start living paycheck to paycheck? on what? hookers and blow? travel? stupid shit that will give me a few moments/days of happiness now so i can live in poverty in my old age?

life is about choices. make your own. but don’t expect them to not have predictable consequences and get mad that those consequences happen. I made mine. and i do very much begrudge bitter people who made poor choices who blame others for making good ones that benefit them life-long.

all i see in these articles is wealthy folks whining because they have no self-respect and no self-control and want to blame other folks for it rather than taking charge of their lives. but hey, i’m a ‘privileged’ asshole who has had to deal with early parental death and my own serious medical issues that made me realize nobody is bailing me out of my own shit in life other than myself.

nobody complete against cash investors. cash wins the vast majority of the time, even given a slightly lower offer, because it’s a cleaner transaction for the seller.

i love how common sense and self-responsibility get downvoted to oblivion on lemmy.

vast majority of millenials in my area have high wages… they just spend more than they make and whine about it. they refuse to become adults and save.

sure, if you live in bumfucksville and you are a cashier at a gas station with a HS diploma, yeah you can’t save. but if you’re a programmer who is 35 and living in debt, that’s your own damn fault, nobody else’s. where I live most millenails are the latter, and 75% of their conservations are whining about life is unfair because they can’t get the 5 million dollar home in the elite town they want.

I’ve got a quarter of million in my retirement fund and it’s got another 30 years to go before I retire. I’m good, thanks. I also bought a place a few years ago.

But I didn’t spend my 20s partying and living in debt like many of my peers. I lived simply, paid off my student loans, and started saving. They made their choice, now they have to live with the consequences. each iphone you buy, each grubhub you order, each vacation you take… is money you are spending now that could be in your retirement account.

I’m sick of hearing about whiny idiots who refused to grow up and learn to save who are mad they have nothing in their bank accounts… because they did… they just choose to spend it all on vacations, booze, and grubhub. and i’ve been working steadily instead of fucking off every year or two to ‘travel the world and become worldly’. if you are quitting your job every 18 months to fuck off for six… it’s no wonder you’re not getting a good wage.

“yes, and you’re a pussy for not doing it. I don’t date pussies.”

You assume there are people who don’t play those games.

dating is participating in toxic everything.

No. I am not interested in joining sex cultists who think they are ‘know the truth path’. Thanks.

you guys need to chill and stop recruiting.

same. the real world is very different than the world of internet words.

i have never ever met a woman who wanted ‘consent’ in my 30+ years of dating. and plenty of them told me they are turned off, and many said they find non-consent, aggression, and boundary violation ‘sexy’. i have never met a ‘sex positive’ woman who wanted to talk about boundaries and consent for any sex act, including kinky violent bdsm stuff. they always told me ‘just do what you want, i trust you, talking about this stuff is gross i just want to do it’.

but nobody wants to talk about that because it violates their kindergarten level ideals of human behaviour. truth is a lot of people get off on non-consent and idealize it. men and women both.