Grilling: FIRE!

So you’re in your late 20s and already letting punks call you old?

Bounce House of God.

“Hi everyone, I’m Shane, I’m a department supervisor, and I’m a workaholic.”

Everyone: “Hi Shane.”

Bleh.

We really hate ourselves as a species.

Salmonella being a common problem when harvesting jalapeños?

There are many like it, but this one is constantly out of tune.

There goes some real heroes. 🫡

“Buffer underrun.”

I remember that Flash animation.

Taking family dog Sadie’s dirty, hairy, muddy water bowl, cleaning it out, filling it back up to the top with crystal-clear water, and hearing her go to town on it was a very satisfying part of my childhood.

Put salt in the water before boiling.

Like, a teaspoon’s worth.

They promoted him to assistant manager.

I believe there was a toggle switch on set controls (no remote).

I’m this old.

Me: tell a girl I’ve been living alone for years

“Wow, you know how to cook?”

“Wow, you do all your own laundry?”

“Wow you clean house regularly?”

Me: “Did you miss the part where I said I lived alone for years??”

This machine would make money every single day if you placed it somewhere public.

Some people would try to over-volt it to commit suicide (or because they thought it would be kinky).

Yes he did. Guess what comes out of the shower heads.

Really has a 3D ViewMaster feel to it.

Growing up, I saw kids in wheelchairs in special areas of a pool that’s just deep enough for their heads to be above water while sitting in a waterproof wheelchair and I was lowkey jealous.