Also, don’t forget to hit them with a stick periodically so they learn their place. They might develop a deep hatred for humans but that’s okay, it’s not like they’ll revolt and kill us all or anything.

Ok, here I go: I will finally hit the gym, find someone to love, get a better job, learn to play an instrument, become a more patient and confident person, read the books I’ve bought, play the games I’ve bought, learn a new language, spend more time with people I care about, try LSD, start a master’s degree and do something about my receding hairline. Good luck, future me.

Only if you assume a person can’t possibly have different political views from their parents’. It’s certainly more difficult, I’ll give you that, but it does happen.