“If you see this sign, you passed us!”

Oh, don’t pass the buck with that “just read the book” BS. Summarize the book please.

First they tell you to go spend time inside nature, then they call you wrong when you do.

Elephant:

99.1% now.

Where do I find me a damned woman!? In every sense of the question.

But you won’t be aware of the ice cream stopping. Only that it’s going to stop. But you won’t experience that stoppage. You’ll never lack for ice cream. You’ll only ever experience ice cream.

Pro-tip for the fellas: print out sexy legs/feet and hold the photo in front of food drop-offs.

https://youtu.be/G_om1-5-zpc

Bedroom “texture!?”

That wasn’t just a fart. :(

Inserting random fart sounds into cartoons literally sounds like my dream job.

Train it via text.

drops phone silently

removes glasses for some reason

I also watched that discussion and agree that he belonged there even less than Seinfeld, who is very rarely funny, but is at least tolerable on a conversational level.

I realized the “insufferable turd” shtick wasn’t an act. He’s a perpetual edgelord.

Porn. And I was trying to masturbate in peace. And could you please get out of my car?

Howdy, neighbor! It really is such a beautiful day! It’s just so lovely to see you here at the park.

You go tits up.

Ever hear of a little thing called facial symmetry? This is the ultimate form of that. They should’ve sent a poet.

“First come, first serve!”