Summary
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem has ordered lie detector tests for DHS staff to identify leaks that allegedly foiled immigration raids, including a failed Colorado operation targeting Venezuelan gang members.
The directive, leaked to Bloomberg, requires polygraph questions about unauthorized communications with media and nonprofits. Despite polygraphs’ unreliability, DHS insists they are necessary for national security.
The crackdown follows frustration from Trump’s border czar Tom Homan over compromised raids and aligns with broader MAGA-era efforts to control government communication.
Oooh, when do we get to deploy the E-Meters?
I’m going to sell divining rods to help find the immigrants.
I’m holding out for the testicle electrodes.
All the kings horses
and all the kings men
Couldn’t make Americans think
cops were bad again
It should be pretty common knowledge that lie detector tests are completely bogus and can’t be trusted. They’re not admissible in court cases. Polygraph tests are proven to be made up pseudoscience.
They might as well try using crystal pendulum tests to dowse out the national security threats.
Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza
It’s a lie if the person interpreting the test says it is.
The card said moops
I reckon she’s also somewhat leaky.
What are the odds of her submitting to a test?
Removed by mod
Despite polygraphs’ unreliability, DHS insists they are necessary for national security.
in keeping with tradition, “national security” continues to mean “because i say so”.
She gets her training and ideas from episodes of NCIS and CSI… and their neverending variants.
“What do you mean we don’t have cameras on every angle?”
*America is saved again by surveillance, tune in next week*
“Enhance. Enhance.”
“Ma’am, images don’t work that w-”
“YOU’RE NOT ENHANCING!”
That is the single most ridiculous picture I’ve seen all week.
And that’s saying something.
I like that her directive to combat leaking was itself leaked.
Dhs should take the classes the inventor of the lie detector offers on how to beat it
Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza
what’s next, ouija boards?
Maybe they can try crystals, or magnets.
Ooo! OOO! Photograph their aura!
Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza
It’s the dogs… Specifically puppies that aren’t “acting right”… They’re “leaking”…
Good thing she has experience dealing with bad dogs.
🤦♀️🫏🤡🖕🖕
