Save your wife and defend the constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic.

Am…am I the leader of antifa?

At first I was gonna say, maybe morality isn’t subjective. Maybe its just our perception of morality that is, and that as an intelligence constrained by our meat, the subjectivity is just a naturally occuring conceptual filter construct that creates the illusion of subjectivity.

Then I realized, I should have just said “yeah”.

With apologies to Mitch Hedberg.

Like many claim satire is dead because it is indistinguishable from real news, this makes me think shitposting will suffer the same fate.

Now where can I buy this?

It might be because they didn’t let him grab them by the pussy. Kash probably did.

The President rapes children. When you set the standard that low, this story feels like responsible government by comparison.

Rename Florida “Trump’s Swamp.”

Me cave exploring and thowing a glow stick down the hole.

“Wow, déja-vue. I feel like my ex-wife and I have been here before.”

Giant rock-monster fleshlight.

Dynamic pricing is only part of it. When you are anticipating higher persistent inflation this makes it easier to tick prices up daily. Enjoy your Trump cost of living adjustments! Lol.

“They knew”

The definition of a great shitpost.

Why would the Iranians attempt any negotiation? They never honoured any of the previous deals. The Americans have zero credibility and have shown themselves to always negotiate in bad faith. It’s pointless to even bother.

Neither. Guess again.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

This is bad, awful, terrible “writing”.

White House officials are still working to court Iranian leaders who might be willing to negotiate, even though the last rounds of talks happened while U.S. and Israel were finalizing a plan to assassinate Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. It’s not clear that the regime is ready to make deals. (Emphasis mine)

What kind of sick twisted fuckwit would write this?

Shit in the public fountain.

She’s holding my drink for me? How sweet.

I’d break into a broad smile and just start going acapella and not stop until the song is done, no matter their resistance. Like security dragging me out in a full nelson and I’m like “Watchin some good friends scream let me out!”

The look on their faces and the story would be worth losing any job.

You’re going to have to cite how carrots were weaponized by the state to legitimize violence.

Exhibit A - Eat your vegetables.

I’m pleased that you can conceptually see this “possibility”, for lack of a better word. It speaks of creativity and imagination.

That your conclusion seems locked-in on this possibility as the only solution, is needlessly below your abilities and shows mental rigidity or tunnel vision.

Currency and Taxation CAN and HAVE been weaponized as you described, but so has a carrot. Just because a carrot CAN and HAS been used to stab through someone’s eye and pierce their brain, killing them, doesn’t mean that this is what carrots are for, or how public policy should treat carrots.