Don’t keep us in suspense!

A few years ago an ice cream truck came down blasting the Super Mario Bros 2 title music and I damn near chased after it

“Oh, no, not that late, actually.”

AUDIENCE

BOOO! BOOO!

NANCY (one hand on her hip, the other defiantly pointing at the audience)

I do as I please! I do as I please! Y’all don’t know me! I do as I please!

How do you nominate for comment of the year?

I don’t get it. Could you explain it to me?

“Oscar Mayer Devouring His Son”

Jesus, I can’t find a cone near me for less than $6.

Did anyone else feel like this article just reads like an ad for their new value menu?

He was the son of Godzilla, after all.

Corporate personhood was ruled on in 1886.

I was never treated better than when I was actively communicating with HR.

“TO FIND IT… TO FIND IT… TO FIND IT…”

God help you if he takes his right hand out of his pocket.

Shiiit, man. That honky mofo messin’ mah old lady–got to be runnin’ cold upside down his head, you know?

It’s blue play-dough, we have boundaries.

I was hoping you could help me with

Kind of like a bell, in a way. There’s the initial ‘slap’ when it hits the ground, or wall, or face of a child. But then there’s this distinct, hollow ringing that lives on until it’s caught or it bounces again.

That sounds fun, I’ll go Google some ideas

edit- :(

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)