Please take your items.

Please take your items.

The thing that currently calls itself me wants to see the third Spiderverse movie before it ceases to exist. If the future “me” doesn’t want to see the third Spiderverse movie then “I” have died and it’s basically the same thing. Don’t leave me on a cliffhanger bro.

The gigantic orb of burning hate in the sky, high-energy screams raging outward as proclamation of its destiny to eventually devour gaia’s refuge once and for all?

Humans say that the sun gives the gift of life, but it’s really just giving them cancer if it sees them for too long. Checkmate mortalists.

I’m glad that you asked! The earth’s rotation creates an energy field that brings the ether to rotate in sync with it, even at a distance. You can see the effects of this in the atmosphere in hurricanes. The ether is very light and so as the energy field spins the ether faster than the earth it creates the same fan effect but for our atmosphere. Hurricanes never cross the equator because that’s where the forces of the earth spinning against the ether and pushing forward against the ether are perpendicular.

tldr: the earth is a really big fan and it makes hurricanes

The earth is spinning like really quickly all the time and we just don’t notice it. Heat if a form of vibration, and so when heat is applied to the bottom of the fan the atoms there move more. A gyroscope resists tilting forces because it is spinning, and the earth is spinning, but the vibration of the fan decouples it from this effect. The blades are able to move freely and the earth moves around them, pushing air through the blades.

tldr: It’s not spinning, you are spinning

If foreskins get into heaven, then I’d expect that all of my fallen hairs would be there too. That would be like… a lot of hair

There are times in my life when I wish that I had been more kind, but there are other times that I wish I had been a lot more mean

I think that being forced to learn about WINE at a young age may have been beneficial actually (if extremely unpleasant)

My current self wants to look at more cute bees and sniff more sunflowers. It doesn’t matter if my future self wouldn’t care (on account of not existing), my current self still really wants to do more of that.

Oh also the hours will start at 1 and the minutes will start at 0

People say to not drink but what they mean by “drink” is to drink alcohol. It’s not like they’re trying to not drink anything because they’d die from that. Drinking water means drinking water but “drinking” means drinking alcohol. It’s a strange euphemism that I’ve been unable to un-notice.

Just because I’m drinking while driving does not mean that I’m an alcoholic! I could be drinking water. In this case it’s liquid mercury but there’s no law against that.

Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent very loud guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.

The titanic WAS the iceberg! I feel like I’m going insane why can’t anyone remember this?? It was made of pykrete as part of Project Habakkuk and repurposed as an ocean liner because they thought it would be cheaper than building ships out of metal. And there weren’t any lifeboats, ice floats and the survivors could and did just cling to the wreckage. We didn’t (and still don’t) know what sunk it! It’s a whole mystery and apparently now we’re just pretending it’s solved??

!joke disclosure this is a joke!<

This person has nice hair I wish that I could have hair like that

Woah it’s big!

That wasn’t very nice…

I am sleepy, goer of to bed. I do battle with the modern world in the form of this phone that I cannot put down. It is simply too captivating. The steady march of time leads my thoughts to increasingly radical and negative patterns. My mind cannot be trusted in the bedtime hours.

I am the worst. A hollow shell playing at being human with no regard for the damage it will cause. My every action rings hollow against the world and everyone can see it. They know that I have no soul. Of all existence I am a wretch too cowardly to live yet too afraid to die.

No I am the best. Everything that I do is good because it is something that I have done. Everything that I am part of is better for having me be a part of it. This power is available to you, should you have the will to believe it. No action of heaven or earth is for my detriment because all things work together for my good.