Thank you! 😊

Going for gasps!

Nah, just a good old shitpost.

Understandable.

Just don’t do the helicopter. You’ll kill us all!

True story, my husband of 10 years and I met on Craigslist Casual Encounters.

I’ve heard Feeld is where it’s at.

Wait till menopause. My body temperature is like that of the surface of the sun.

This is how my husband celebrated Easter:

That’s just the current American experience.

Ah, who am I kidding, we can’t afford cocaine.

Yup. And I should say you can find good ones in the U.S., you just never know.

Mine was from New Zealand and worked with one of their Olympic teams. She never cracked my neck but gently massaged and manipulated it to release a whiplash injury after a car accident.

For every one of her, there are 20 quacks who claim they can cure cancer with foot baths.

I’ve been working on my epidermis. Thanks for noticing!

Bottom right corner.

Joke’s on you, kindness IS my freak. Now get over here and let me compliment you.

Absolutely accurate. Over 10 years of marriage, we both have seen some shit. And we are still madly in love.

Bitches that pee loud also pee fast! In and out before you know it. Such an evolutionary advantage, tiger can’t kill when so fast.

Don’t ask me how I know.

As a bisexual woman, yes please. Fat titties make the world go round.

You’re welcome! And I’m sure your ass is at least of average intelligence. I mean, how smart does it really need to be to fulfill its functions?

Do you know what a “safe word” is? I’m asking seriously because if you don’t, I’ll start my explanation there, but I don’t want to assume you don’t.

It’s a joke about kink and the safe word being impossible to remember or use plus a play on tech security with the cat o’ nine tails being made out of wires.