Your choice

OK fine. I just went outside and poked at the grass for several minutes. Now what?

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Before the court ruling, I was already doing all that just for fun. Now I’m doing it for political reasons and also for fun.

I’m going to cum in my toilet, a cumsock, a tissue or generally anywhere besides a vagina every day for the rest of my life. Fuck these fascists.

Once lemmy got popular, I just decided next time I get banned I won’t make a new reddit account. Sure enough, I got banned without breaking any rules. Good riddance.

Society: you’re expected to get a second job because if we made things cheap enough to survive off 1 job, that would be communism

Also society: no, not like that. That’s cheating.

The inverse of operation star wars

I know a guy who had someone randomly place an empty dumpster on his property at night and leave it there. The police are completely stumped and no one knows where it came from.

Some poor people are able to get cost reduced healthcare in the US and to these wannabe dictators that’s 100% unacceptable. A hospital visit needs to be a life ruining financial ordeal otherwise it’s communism.

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It’s all fun and games until someone brings their mom’s tentacle dildo to school.

You only date females? Wow that’s a really offensive and insensitive thing to say. Also unrealistic, as this criteria blocks out half of all people. Prepare to get cancelled /s

Circumcision leftovers

Actually if he has a feminine enough cock, you don’t have to say “no homo”. In 2024, the no homo rule is only necessary for the exceptionally long veiny hairy ones.

Women can get wet sometimes so it is common decency to have a lot of dehumidifiers. If you bring a lady home and she sees your array of 6 dehumidifiers per room, she will be so impressed that she will instantly rip off her clothes and fuck the shit out of you.

For $1000, I wonder if someone could rig together a very shitty way of making low quality anvils out of garbage like aluminum or very shitty steel/cast iron and pass it off as a “real anvil” that I found in the dump or something.

That would be a lot of work of course but in today’s economy and job market, a huge amount of effort just to get $1000 isn’t necessarily a waste of time especially if you can do it multiple times before they find out.

Having sex with women is considered gay in 2024. Since it’s gay either way, you might as well go for the bussy.

We are totally screwed because now they’re going to put these in cheap laptops and peddle them to the elderly and the non-technically inclined who don’t know any better. Then, us tech people have to deal with “why is my Windows 11 pentium 3 pc so goddamned slow”

… For drawing cum when making furry porn?