I know this is satire, but part of me is afraid that it might not be.
Screwber
I’d book that lad any time as long as he can adapt to hollering “hell yeah sister”.
It’s okay, it’s the gender-neutral of form of the word ‘brother.’ You know, like ‘dude.’
But I’m also sure he’ll accommodate your simple request as long as you’re not a narc.
Lol, I actually had to google what an eight ball was, but I was already sold at whiskey. So, clearly not a narc. Also not Spez. ^^
That’s cool, brother. But you gotta tell him if you’re a cop. That’s the law he’s pretty sure.
I like how the Germans pronounce it, with the umlauts and all.
Moet-ley Cr-ewe
When we came up with the name, we didn’t even know what umlauts were. I can remember it like it was yesterday. We were drinking Löwenbräu, and when we decided to call ourselves Mötley Crüe, we put some umlauts in there because we thought it made us look European. We had no idea that it was a pronunciation thing. When we finally went to Germany, the crowds were chanting, “Mutley Cruh! Mutley Cruh! “ We couldn’t figure out why the fuck they were doing that.
– Vince Neil
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2009/11/motley-crues-vince-neil-is-finally-bored-with-boobs
I am into this, but I want at least 1in 3 corners to be taken sideways in slo-mo.
Also, can I have whisky and an 8-ball too?
I think they mean that’s for the client. I’d rather my driver not be drunk and high, cool as it may be.
My driver can have a little coke sometimes, as a treat.
Coke without booze is way too speedy.
Can they at least have a Xanax or two to take the edge off?
Called an Uber Friday night. Dude was much more drunk than I was. I ended up having him crash on my couch.
Lmao, really? Had my fair share of weirdos, but never drunk or high. At least not that I could tell.
I was in an uber with a friend in some Baltimore traffic when the driver almost rear-ended the car in front of us. She was distracted talking to us, I think, was telling us about her life or something.
Immediately after she slammed on the brakes, she admitted to us she was high as a kite, and then went into explaining how she hides it from her rides (uses the ozium stuff to make the smell disappear, leaving a window of time between pickups to ensure the car aired out, etc). Vaping wasn’t as commonplace back then, as I think Colorado and only one other state had legalised it at that point.
But, like, damn lady… Why are you telling your two passengers this right after you almost got into a nasty wreck? We just wanted to get to the bar 😂
I have a friend that drives Uber. Literally high every time he works. He’s one of those stoners that claims he’s actually a better driver when high. You absolutely don’t know if the person driving you is under the influence. He vapes or does edibles, so there’s no odor, and he’s always wearing sunglasses.
卄乇ㄥㄥ ㄚ乇卂卄 乃尺ㄖㄒ卄乇尺
Great hood ornament, dude. Hop in, I’m driving.
Screwber
Crank up Kickstart my heart and drive me to the dentist!
