Clean yourself out with a laxative. Like a colonoscopy prep. Safely. Then eat only high protein, low residue foods. Look them up. Should be as close to good as possible. No poop already in process, slow moving food after. Won’t be comfortable, but you should make it.

How easy would it be for you to find (natural) laxatives? ChatGPT names Prunes and Kiwis, Broccoli, Almonds and Walnuts, Yogurt (the white non-sweet kind would be best)

Basically the above is just a who’s who of healthy dieting if you ask me lol. If you need high caloric density for the “eating as much as possible” part just go for anything high in fat and or sugar. Nutella would check both boxes but this is really not recommendable from a health perspective obviously.

Competitive eaters like Beard Meats Food would just chug on double cream if they wanted to get as many calories down as possible. The only “problem” there is that it doesn’t make for a very entertaining video.

Dried prunes, apples and pears have, I believe, the highest poop to volume ratio of any food.

3lbs of cashews, eat one pound each day, shit will flow

If you want volume, go for as much veggies as you can. Try 4 large potatoes and a lb of black beans per day.

Gas station roller grill taquitos, a 5lb bag of Haribo sugar-free gummy bears, and a case of bottled water.

Start with the taquitos, then eat the gummy bears a handful at a time. You’ll know when to switch to water.

Why do you need this?

Haribo sugarless gummy bears have a strong laxative effect. I’d say that’s a pretty strong contender

It all comes full circle. Like a toilet bowl. My first day on Lemmy was the don’t ask why, but I need to not shit for 3 days post. And here we are. So much culture in only a year.

Yellow dragonfruit, refried beans/hummus