That thing you like doing that makes you feel better? Stop it.
Instead do this thing that is tedious/boring that you never look forward to.
Eventually you will fool yourself into enjoying this boring/tedious task and trick your brain into releasing dopamine when you perform it.
If you can’t stop thinking about the worst possible outcome, try imagining the opposite. A nice and comfortable situation that makes you happy. To take up space in your thoughts and orient you towards more pleasant emotions
It’s minimal how you can change other people. But you can change your own environment, actions and worldview. Even though it might take a long time for your body, nervous system and brain to change and adapt.
Even if your parents want to change themselves for the benefit of your health, it might not be possible for them. But you might be able to help them by changing yourself, and then indirectly change their environment.
Please remember to bring exact change next time.
Learn to identify what you’re feeling.
It’s ok to look back at a painful event and have empathy for that younger person, then you can either stay there or accept any wisdom to be learned and write the next chapter but you can’t live in both places at once.
A really big part of therapy is learning how to communicate what happened, what is happening, and what you are feeling.
It takes a lot of time to organize it all into words that another person would understand, and doing so helps you.
The therapist might aslo reccomend what to do going forward but 9/10 times you already know that.
If you think you picked a bad partner because there’s something wrong with you because of how you were parented, actually a bad partner sought you out because they saw those vulnerabilities in you.
Be the leaf
Pain is relative. Yes other people may have it worse than you. The worst pain you’ve felt in your life is still the worst, for you. So don’t write it off so easily.
I won at therapy a few months ago. My doctor threw up his hands and went “I don’t know what to tell you. Your situation is so fucked up that I can’t even offer advice. Just keep on keeping on, I guess.” And that actually made me feel better.
you’re here and that’s a good thing
Look at that ! It kinda makes me feel a little better, too !
Best advice I got about my all time present self criticism was:“Imagine the self criticism or self hate in the voice of someone you don’t like and don’t respect. Donald Trump for example.”
It makes the voice in my head that says:“You are a worthless piece of shit.” entertaining at least.
There has never been a more worthless piece of shit and let me tell you I know everything about shit and being worthless someone I know and they are very smart told me that you are the best worthless piece of shit they’ve ever seen and there has never been a shittier piece of worthless ever and I would know.
“If someone met your expectations would you be mad?”
“No”
“Then maybe your expectations are too high?”
“When you’re fighting with someone, think of it as tug-of-war. You choose how long you hold that rope, but you can put it down, or not even pick it up. Either way, neither of you are really going anywhere until one of you chooses to walk away.”
There’s a member of my family I strongly dislike, so I had to work on not taking the bait.
I went in saying that work feels boring and repetitive. Feel stuck in the same job for the rest of my life, even though i hate it.
She said we all feel that way.
That’ll be 200 bucks please
