I know nothing about paintball, but I feel like there has to be vegan paintballs.
Blend kale and almond milk.
A touch of nutritional yeast does wonders
Soy beans. A tag doesn’t count if you catch with your mouth.
Hindu paintballers be like
Yeah wait, can we not make paintballs with…no animal parts?
Yeah, that’s kinda buried in the lead.
“Hey, just FYI, all your paintballs have pork fat in them” would be a more startling revelation.
Someone needs to explain to me why there’s ANY animal product in a paintball in the first place.
Paintballs are made of gelatin. Gelatin is often just collagen and collagen is basically connective tissue.
Hope you aren’t a gummy bear fan, cause I have news for you
You know they’re not really made of bears, right?
You’re gonna try and tell me that not a single bear ever fell into a vat of gelatine?
You die.
You ascend to the pearly gates. Saint Peter stands there, or the Islamic equivalent, whatever, holding a book with your record. He flips through it.
“Let’s see. Beat his wife and kids, no problem. Stole massive amounts of money, okay. Generally racist, shouldn’t be an issue. Killed a man in cold blood. It was a Jew, so no great loss. Wait. You used pork paintballs? Are you fucking kidding me?”
A hole opens beneath you. You fall straight to hell.
“I can forgive the wifebeating, the drunkenness, the rape, but the pork paintballs‽ To the deepest pits with you! Insha’Allah, motherfucker!”
/j, obviously
“Within islam” is doing a lot if work here that should be elaborated upon.
Are they also required to be… green?
