yay weed and friendship my two favorite things
Pink please…
Purple but myself. Please myself. Dear gods myself.
I love that ability. I always want greedy billionaires and hateful politicians to be made a fool of. Now I can do it with comedy.
No violence and death, just lots of dookies. Oh this is so fun.
Pink would come in clutch if you’re a doctor on a surgical ward.
Choose One?
That question mark ❓ suggests the option I could take them all instead if I wanted…
I’d take all but the blue one. Once my powers become known, my crush would love me! Together we’d run my campaign for mayor. I’d win on the promise that the browns will win the superbowl. Yes, I’m making a fecies joke about the BROWNS wining the SUPERBOWL.
I just gotta make the other team shit their pants at the right times.
Pink and I would dedicate the rest of my life to making Elon Musk shit himself literally every time a camera is pointed at him.
Yeah. I got the magenta one years ago. I’ve been making Trump drop a fucking load on camera for awhile now.
just Elon? What about Nigel Farage? pls?
Pink all the way. Rude to some service worker? Poopy pants. Didn’t return the cart? Poop. Drive like an asshole? Poop. Politician spewing hateful garbage on national television? Oh you bet you’re getting the poopy pants.
I would be The Punisher, only with poop instead of guns.
Poop Note
The Poo-nisher. 💀💩
I like that it’s “Forced”. If it was just “make people shit themselves”, it would just happen and then they’d wonder what’s going on But Forced implies they’re fighting it, it implies resistance. That’s kinda messed up.
I hope you have to point at the person for it to work, so they know it’s you.
Well, I just made up my mind.
I have IBS and I do wish it on my worst enemies. Gimme that pink pill.
Force people to poop on command - I’d have xin jinping on speed dial
I would give this pill to a million Chinese and Russian dissidents.
Xi and Putin would just be constantly shitting. There would be no moment in any day for as long as they lived that they weren’t shitting.
Each billionaire poops every 30 minutes. No rest for the wicked. Can be cured by donating the fortune to some common causes.
Allow me to introduce my little friend:
Assuming I could force somebody to poop on command with little effort beyond sheer willpower, I would absolutely take it upon myself to dish out petty justice with that power.
I see you being rude to people working in a service job? You get poopy pants.
I see you playing music on your phone or otherwise being obnoxious on the bus or some other public space? You get poopy pants.
Are you driving like an asshole? Following too closely? Cutting people off? Honking the moment the light turns green? Words can’t express the satisfaction I will feel in knowing that you’re now sitting in your car with the poopiest of pants my power could possibly muster.
Okay, but at all times there is a mass of constipated people surrounding you, lining up in a queue in front of your home, begging you to relieve them! And obvioysly many havent really thought about where to go about it if you help them…
It’s only chaotic evil if you use it as such.
Could work as a televangelist for constipated people.
Jeez. All you mean people.
I’d take the pink pill and help people with intestinal blockages and stuff.
There’s not a few people you’d want to shit themselves to death? Not even Putin?
Do I want to commit murder? No.
So it’s like having a Death Note but the only method of death is shitting themselves? I’m down.
Well you can get them to smear out symbols with their faeces before they die
Why not both? Help the constipated AND make the world’s worst people shit themselves on live TV…
I’m just saying, no one’s talking about how you could help people with this too.
